my last day at work!

Today is my last day of work at Harvard! Woo Hoo!! I have exactly one hour to go before I head out the door for the last time (as an employee) and head to Viva Las Vegas for a little visit with the Bro'.

During these transition times, I get really tense right before and then sail through all the events that are involved. Before I know it, I'll be running around with the kiddies and teachin' up a storm!

just in case you didn't know...

What's the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork?

What is the order of cousins? Who are first cousins, second cousins, etc.?

How did the game "rock, paper, scissors" originate?
and I recently learned that there's a winery in California that loves this game!

Where did fortune cookies come from and are they really Chinese?
Fortune cookies are fun to make at home! Here's a recipe.

what day is it?

I woke up this morning not knowing what day it was. I set me alarm for 6:40am but it didn't go off for some reason.

This is the way it's been going for the past couple of weeks where I run so behind in the morning because I get a late start to my morning routine. This usually involves skipping a shower, throwing some clothes on, brushing my teeth, and grabbing some random food to last me for breakfast, and if I'm lucky, lunch.

I'd felt depressed all weekend and decided that I would give myself some comforting beauty treatments. I took a hot bath, shaved my legs, washed and straightened my hair, gave myself a manicure and pedicure, waxed my eyebrows, put clean sheets on my bed and vacuumed my floor. I did feel somewhat better after all of this because I physically felt more beautiful and a felt clean and comfortable in my bed.

There's something about slipping into clean sheets that guarantees a good night's sleep. And this could be why I woke up not know what day it was and if I was supposed to show up for work. I would have loved to roll over and go back to sleep, but instead I got out of bed and rushed through the routine.

One more week of working in an office with nothing to do. I guess some people would be happy to be where I am...sitting all day with not much responsibility. This just isn't for me.

It's been a while

So it's been a while but I just haven't know what to write. Right now I'm feeling anxious which has been quite a theme lately. All of these feelings of depression and anxiety that I've been feeling for years are present in my life in different amounts and it's a constant struggle to figure out where they're coming from and how I can cast them out of my head.

It's so much easier to treat a defined pain like a cut or a stomach ache. You know exactly where the pain is located and remedies to treat them. Depression and anxiety are much more complicated. I chose to take medication because I didn't know what else to do after feeling bad for so long. But taking medication comes with its own side-effects that can be disconcerting like feeling dizzy or distracted or tired.

For a long time I hid my depression from people, only telling people who are very close to me because I felt embarassed, like it was a weakness. But I was only lying to myself and others when I hid it from them. And when I started being honest, it felt liberating that people knew the truth. And I know that by admitting all of this in my blog, that people might be finding out this truth about me.

My Mom visited me this past week and there were a lot of emotions wrapped up in her being here. I feel a relief when she's here because it's nice to have someone around me who knows me well and will take care of me the way only mothers can. It was so nice to have Mom hugs and conversations. When she leaves me, I feel sad and I have a hard time figuring out if it's normal sadness or a form of depression funk that I go into because I feel good a cared for when she's here but it all goes away when she goes away.